Thank you, Dr. Dobson

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Family Portraits (Joseph) 145

I’m a mom of 3 boys. I’ve heard it said that a boy is noise with dirt on it. No truer words have ever been spoken.

I know a family who has 5 boys, so I know that 3 isn’t that spectacular.

However, I maintain that 3 boys is definitely more than I bargained for!

You see, as a mom, let me state the obvious. I’m a girl. GIRL. Totally girl. I may have had my bout with tomboyhood when I was young, but I’ve been over that for a long time.

I like my house clean. I like to be treated gently. I like getting my nails done, my hair done, and getting dressed up. I like having conversations that involve girly things like shopping, decorating, cooking, gardening, and occasionally I’ll go renegade and talk about tennis or camping (just to stay adventurous of course). I like my sleep. And yes, I like it to be quiet every now and then.

Yet most of these things DO NOT HAPPEN.

A clean house, no one can find. This is the proverb in our house anyway. Cars, trucks, superheros, blocks, Toy Story underwear, and any number of guns litter the floor at any given time (and you can always find at least one toy in each room, even closets). If there’s water to be spilled, it is, so watch your step in my kitchen. Oh, and we’re still potty training, so we get to find little brown nuggets sometimes. Delightful, you envy me, I know it.

As for being treated gently, fuh-get about it! We wrestle and smother and pretend to be ninjas (which means I have to be THE expert ninja just so my 1 month old has a fighting chance…pun intended). I couldn’t count high enough to record the amount of times that I’ve told my middle child to sit down on the couch rather than jump or tumble or slide or wrestle on it. So I stray from the couch, seriously, because I don’t want to be his target.

Every now and then I may break free to get my nails and hair done. That’s actually one of the strongest options I have of all the above. But it just doesn’t happen nearly often enough. I also “dress up” in my summer dresses even on laundry days just so I feel feminine. But then my dress often becomes a “toy” for the middle boy, so there goes that luxury.

Now the conversations. Those get interesting with boys. I just heard my oldest tell his grandma that his baby doll’s name is “Fart” (we use it for them to practice on a pretend baby so hopefully the real baby will survive them). Lovely. We talk about superheros and being strong and racing. We hear a lot of poop and fart jokes, and they’re only 5 and 3 years old, God help me! Half of what I say to them is “no, don’t jump on him”, “please don’t destroy that toy”, “clean up your mess”, “no, we don’t pee on the carpet…or tile…just the potty”, and any variants of these phrases. I read them books so that we can have somewhat intelligent conversations.

Sleep. I gave up on that. My oldest has always gotten up “early” and the middle one started getting up just as early once they started sharing a room. It’s like they have a radar that tells them they might be missing something daring or fun or mischievous so they obviously must get up early so as not to miss these appointments. Heaven help me, I just want them to sleep a little longer or at least stay in their rooms so I can get a shower. But then, the strawberry incident happened, and their wall has a smearing of strawberry on it…another story for another day filed under “Epic Messes That Happened in the Morning before Mom Came in the Room.”

I think you can already guess what I have to say about it being quiet around here. NO CHANCE buddy. Quiet time or nap time isn’t really quiet. It’s just not fair. I imagine all those families with only girls having the best quiet time complete with silence and everything. They probably even read their books quietly and get to paint their toenails. I’m just hoping my boys don’t FIND my nail polish.

I admit, all of what I’ve written sounds like I’m whining. I also admit that I’ve been mourning the fact that most of these things don’t happen for me. I would love to have some daughters. I just hope I don’t have to wait for daughter-in-laws to make that happen (although daughter-in-laws are pretty special…I would know because I happen to be one *wink*). I fully expected to have at least one daughter by now, but God has given us boys. So what’s a girl to do? Well, this GIRL bought Dr. Dobson’s Bringing Up Boys, because I apparently don’t know the first thing about boys (and quite frankly they drive me crazy because they’re just not like me and I have a NEED to understand them).

Thank God for Dr. Dobson!

As much as this girl would like to calm down these boys, she knows that they were meant to be men! They’re chock full of testosterone and that is how they were meant to be. All the danger, all the impulsiveness, all the spirit of exploration, and all the messes are just part of being a boy. Hallelujah, there’s a reason for it all! I have not been given these boys by accident, and so I want to do the best I can to raise them into men. We need men who are so full of energy and drive that sometimes they make messes as they press on toward their goals (but also know how to clean up those messes). We need men who will be strong yet know how to treat a lady with gentleness and respect. We need men who can talk about manly things and solve problems with their man logic (we all know a woman’s logic is questionable at times…and some would say it doesn’t exist…but I digress). Men need to be men, not women. Wish me luck and say a prayer for me. I want these boys to be strong, God fearing men one day, even if it means I have to (temporarily) say goodbye to some girly things (or at least save them for a girlfriend or my mom).

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